The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
