My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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