Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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