the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
