he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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