Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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