Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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