Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
