Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
