Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
