only if we run a train.
done.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
