I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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