Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
