It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
