He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
