I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
