Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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