I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
