No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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