we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
