Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
