I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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