i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
