I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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