i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
