went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
