the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
