Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
