"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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