i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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