I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
