operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
