Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
