So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
