naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i came on her dog
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
