david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
