Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
