Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
