The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
