DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
