I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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