Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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