What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
