I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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