we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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