his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
