I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
