I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
