Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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