We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
