We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
